I Love How Bad Pop Music Is
Beyonce Knowles was on Saturday Night Live this weekend and sang a few songs off of her new album. I usually just fast forward through the musical acts because they are pop trash, but I had to watch due to the hilarious lyrics of Beyonce's new single, If I Were a Boy. I thought it was a joke and was expecting a female SNL cast member to run out dressed as boy and act out the ridiculous lyrics. It never happened. The song was actually real, which actually made it better and almost the funniest thing on the whole SNL episode.
Here are some of the lyrics from If I Were A Boy. There are more lyrics to the song but these are the most comical.
If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
and throw on what I wanted
And go drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they stick up for me
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone.
If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
and throw on what I wanted
And go drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they stick up for me
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone.
So... it seems Beyonce is now letting a 12 year old girl write her songs. That's the only way I can explain the awfulness of these immature lyrics. What really bugs me is that this song is going to be a number one hit. I have seen more poetic things written on bathroom walls. If this is a huge hit I think we might get lucky enough to get, If I were a Girl from Jay-Z.
If they were going to make a song this bad they should have just made it completely over the top. Here are a few suggestions for extra lyrics that would have made the song even better.
If I were a boy
I would do every stereotypical thing boys do
'Cause that is what this song is about
If I were a boy
Eddie Murphy would be into me
Because he likes that sort of thing
If I were a boy
I would not have to sit to pee
'Cause I would have a penis
If I were a boy
Jay-Z would probably be really pissed
'Cause I would have a penis
They should definitely add these lines for the remix.
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