BRADASSNEWS.COM: Zebra Safari

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Zebra Safari

Here are a few observations/suggestions I made about the football officiating during my 9 hour football safari on Thanksgiving.

Unnecessary Flailing

Why do football referees have to use hand signals when they are explaining penalties? They have microphones, we can hear them. The only time they should use hand signals is if the microphone goes out. It makes no sense for them to do this flailing around. They look so stupid. This would be like if everyone used sign language when they talked. It is unnecessary. They should cancel this archaic activity. Although, some refs would probably want to continue to do the hand signals so they could continue to flex while giving the, "First Down" signal; Ed Hochuli.

(The dumbest signal is the "Tripping" call. A referee has to take one of his legs and swing it around the back of his other leg, as if he was tripping himself. I can't wait until a ref actually makes himself fall down, with an uber-aggressive leg whip.)

Is He Looking at Me?

Another thing regarding refs, that always makes me wonder is, who are they looking at when they're announcing the penalties? I use to think they looked into the camera but that isn't right. Then I thought they were looking up into an official Ref booth, or into the TV announcing booth, but I don't think that is right either, because they call penalties all over the field and they're always looking straight ahead. If they were looking at one particular booth they would have to angle their body to look at that booth. I think my best guess is, they're just looking blankly into the crowd, like a stage performer does. I wonder if they imagine the whole crowd naked to ease their nerves.

Eavesdropping

It's become commonplace for TV networks to mic-up certain players so that we can listen into their conversations in the huddle, on the sidelines, and during action. Why have we not done this with refs? How many times has there been instances where total confusion occurs on the field of play, and the refs have to get together to have a pow-wow. We never know what they are talking about in those little meetings. We just have to watch and hope that they decide in favor of our team. How fascinating would it be it if we could hear every word they were saying? We could hear them talking over exactly what happened and what the rule book states is the proper action. But, because we don't have this we have to settle for the TV announcers' best guesses. This would also create better accountability for the refs, and make them know their shit. If a ref knows he is going to have the whole nation listening in on every word they are going to be saying, he is as sure as hell not going to want to sound like an dumbass.

(The NFL Network had mics on the refs hats, but they used these to pick up the sounds made by the players. Not the sound emitted by the refs.)

Show Your Colors

Every team in the NFL has their own set of colors and so should every Referee Team. Yes, there are teams of referees. Each Head referee works with the same umpire and same line judges all season.

I watch enough football that I know most of the NFL refs and I know who is good (Mike Carey; whom I semi-racistly dubbed, "Black-Stache" before I really knew his name. It was done out of love.) and who is an ass-sandwich, but unique team ref jerseys would help out the less football crazed fans. Think about it. If your team seems to get fucked by the refs one week and let's say their colors are red, the next time you have the red refs, your going to be like, "Oh shit! we got the red refs again." The opposite can also be true if you think the refs did a good job, "Nice, we got the orange refs." You can still have them in stripes. Just make the white or black stripes different colors. I think this is a possibility. I mean, football is the most progressive sport we have.