BRADASSNEWS.COM: Whack Ass Weekend 12-15-09

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Whack Ass Weekend 12-15-09

Link of the Weekend

Mr. Skin's Top Ten Nude Scenes of 2009. CLICK HERE

I can't believe that I have only seen three of these scenes. 3 out of 10 is an awful ratio. Even worse if you do the booby math; 6 out of 20 boobies. Actually, 3 out of 10 and 6 out of 20 is the same fucking ratio. But saying that I missed 14 boobs sounds a lot shittier than saying I missed 7 pairs of tits for some reason. Oh well, guess I got some NetFlixing to do.

Season Finale of the Week

Dexter. Good fucking god, talk about a gut punch so hard that it makes your balls blow out your scrodum.

I was going to write more about this now, but I am going to re-watch the episode and do a full brad ass entry on it.

Commercial 411 of the Week

After a good 3 months of getting pounded by these new Levi, "Go Forth," advertisements I decided to finally figure out what the fuck is going on.

You know the ones I am talking about. The black and white, scratchy looking commercials with fireworks, and an old man's voice and subtitles. They make you want to move to the Ninth Ward in New Orleans with all your friends, wear nothing but denim, and shoot roman candles at each other all day long.

these ones

Anywhat, I found out that the poems are written by Walt Whitman, something I would have probably known if I enjoyed any other poetry besides my own.

Just a reminder of my awesome poetry....

Stubs
Stubs
I have Stubs
Have no fingers
Can't wear gloves.

Suck on that shit Whitman.

Moving on, according to THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE the first commercial is supposedly Whitman's voice on an old wax record and the second commercial, "Oh Pioneers," is an actor doing a Whitman.

I can't hear the word, Pioneers, with out thinking of these advertisements anymore.

Has anyone made a good spoof on these things yet? They should.

Music Video of the Week

Famed science fiction writer, Carl Sagan made a music video featuring Stephen Hawking (watch out T-Pain, Hawkins got skills.) What's really surprising is that this actually doesn't suck.

Tweets of the Week

mookiewilson86 Evangelist Oral Roberts has died, leaving behind his son, Anal, his daughter, Vaginal & his loving wife, Just Fuck My Ear Hole Roberts. RIP

DougBenson If the blue dudes in AVATAR are sexually frustrated, do they get beige balls?

michaelianblack Thinking about freshening up "plaid" by calling it "laser stripes."

shitmydadsays "I like See's candy. Put me in a See's store, I'm eating candy. The whole world is Tiger's See's store, and the candy is vagina."

natashaleggero when a guy asks you where you're from he means "when can we have sex?"

michaelianblack Back from the Hanukkah party. Had so much kugel I plotzed. Then I kvelled and schvitzed. Now I'm controlling the media.

shitmydadsays "Pressure? Get married when you want. Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants."

AdamJBonerman It's all fun and games till you can't remember which cup you roofied

Picture of the Week

Another classy picture of an American respecting a foreign country's historic landmark.

leaning tower, jerk off, leaning tower of penis